Saturday, June 25, 2016

My Compliments to the Blog

                                                       Thanks online chalkboard picture!

I don't take criticism well.

I take compliments even worse.

I always downplay whatever the compliment is with a fault.

"Wow your hair looks super cute today!"
Thanks, I need a trim badly.

"These little tarts are so yummy."
They were supposed to have a sugar cookie crust, but I burned them.

"I love those shoes."
Thanks! They're getting pretty scuzzy though...

The reason why I do it is because we're supposed to be humble. Humble people don't take compliments, right?

Well, there are two ways to take a compliment. Actually, three, but the above example isn't very good.

1. Accept it...and run with it.

     "You did such a good job on that song!"
Right?! I worked really hard and knew it was going to be awesome. I can't believe how well I nailed it and the entire audience was enTHRALLED with....hey where are you going?

The complimenter has been slowly backing away from the blinding light reflecting off your self awarded gold star.

Think of a compliment as a pat on the back, not a party in your honor. Some recognition for a talent or hard work, not an Oscar.

But, Kate, I'm that guy...

Hey, it's ok. I've been that guy at one point or another. Especially when I'm REALLY excited about whatever I was complimented on. I word vomit every detail about the whole thing. If you feel yourself gushing, take it down a notch Old Faithful. We can definitely be excited and grateful for the compliment without boast or brag. Make it a conversation! Graciously accept the compliment and turn it back to them:

"Thanks, I worked really hard on it! What did you think of the accompaniment?"

Voila...compliment accepted.

2. Just...accept it and give love back.
      "I really like your outfit today."
Thank you! I love your top. Where did you get it?

This is where I struggle. I feel like everything needs an explanation or a back story or an excuse as to why I don't deserve recognition. It's taken me a long time to realize this option is not the same as option #1. You CAN take a compliment without sounding like an arrogant jerk!

I promise!

I've done it!

I did it last night!

A friend of mine told me she likes my Facebook posts. That they're funny.

I'm not going to lie...I think I'm hilarious.
Other people generally don't think so, but I do.

Still, it catches me off guard when I get compliments for ANYTHING. Husband always rolls his eyes when I negative out a compliment.

        
                                            "Just take the dang compliment!"-husband
                                                                     "no."-me

So before I could write off her praise with something like "I just write down stuff that I think about" or "meh, they're ok", I simply said...wait for it...

"Thanks!"

I'm starting a little challenge to try and compliment at least one person a day that's not in my family. If you like your waiter's tie, let him know!
That girl in line at Trader Joe's with the awesome haircut? Teeeellll her.
A little kid with a cool hat or t-shirt would love to hear someone say how cool it really is.

This will be hard because I'm always worried people will give me that weird side-eye, but hey, at least they know some random girl at the grocery store thought their dress was pretty. Even if she might be a little crazy.

P.s. you have beautiful eyes

Wednesday, June 1, 2016

New Balance



My scales are usually faaaaaiiiiiiirly balanced between family time and personal time. Most of the time they lean more toward family time, but for a stay at home mom, that's to be expected.

I recently went back home to Washington for my kindofsortofmaybenotreally little sister's wedding. She's not really my little sister, but I like to think she is. It was a whirlwind weekend of hair, makeup, dresses, food, flowers, and very little sleep. I loved it though!

The only problem was it was a whole 3 1/2 days without kids after a month on my own. Husband was out of town last month and it was....an experience.

#notagoodsinglemom

It was my first break in a long time and I was too busy to enjoy it! I loved spending the time with everyone and staying up until sunrise talking with my mom, but I did NOT get to relax. Even the plane rides were stressful.


rough take off, turbulence, and rougher landings do not bode well for me

So here I am back at home. In the throes of summer vacation while Husband is studying for his next board exam. Basically still a single mom (kindsortofmaybenotreally). My break was not as much of a break as I had hoped. I'm still catching up on missed sleep and my skin is adjusting back to 10% humidity.


acne....acne everywhere.

My scales are tipped pretty far away from personal time. It's noticeable in everyday life, too. Husband will say PMS or too little sleep or I'm hungry.


There's a good chance one all of those are all true. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But even with mother nature taking a break, a full night sleep, and a food baby on board, I'm grumpy. I'm restless. I'm extremely annoyed at everyone. All the time. About everything.


My patience does not exist.


With medical school not slowing down any time soon, I'm left with two choices:

1. Babysitters. Lots of them. Which is expensive and stressful to coordinate.

2. Do it myself when I can.

I've got option 2 on the brain and I'm thinking of ways I can get my personal time outside of nap time and bed time. If I use those for personal time, the house doesn't get cleaned, my book business gets neglected, and the laundry begins to come to life. I also don't go to bed until 1 am which perpetuates the no sleep cycle.

Today I took all three kids swimming. It was a little stressful because
3 kids + 1 parent + 2 swim vests= Someone is probably going to drown.

We did really well though and Older Girl Child decided she could swim! Despite my hate for the Phoenix Valley, I love sunshine and summer is amazing. Up here in Northern AZ, summers are even better. Hot, but not face melting hot. There's always a nice breeze. So while the kids got to splash and swim and cool off, I got to soak up some vitamin D and work on my tan. Yes, I was still watching kids. Yes, I was still getting annoyed.

But I wasn't dying for bed time.

When Smaller Girl Child came shivering to me saying, "Mama I want to a go hooooome", I was a little disappointed. The good news is, the weather is warm and the summer just started.

I'm also trying to prioritize my nap and bed time solitude. Usually nap time looks like:

1. close bedroom doors and sigh in relief
2. start dishwasher
3. make lunch
4. stop dishwasher to put lunch dishes in
5. sit on the couch watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer for the next two hours while I eat WAY too much candy

Don't hate on Buffy btw.

So I'm trying to throw some more laundry or sweeping in there in place of candy and an episode of Buffy (or Empire, or Supernatural, or Greys Anatomy, or New Girl). This frees up more time at night to relax which makes going to bed earlier so much easier. It's going ok so far. The balance is still tipped, but slightly less so. It's whatevs*.

*That's just for you Heather!

Side note: My regular bathroom scale is also tipped in an unfavorable direction, but that's another post for another day!