Silver Linings

My husband is so good at this. So good. 

Me? 

Not so much. 

He sees the glass as half full all the time. 

I'm just happy the glass hasn't been tipped over and spilled on my freshly washed floor. 

I'm working on it though! I've been trying reeeeeaaaally hard to see the silver lining in my frustrations and problems and situations. 

Something else I have been working on is letting go of the things I can't control. There's a lot that fits under that category let me tell you. The more I delve into my inner Elsa, the more chaotic I feel like my life becomes. 

                   Living in the desert, 

                I wish I had ice powers.

I am super micromanager! With the astounding ability to overanalyze, over prepare, and nitpick every single situation to the point of stress overload. 

It's not a talent I'm proud of. 

So I've decided to find the good in letting go and find balance as well. I have to weeeeaaaan myself off of controlling everything. They don't have AA meetings for people like me. Well they probably do, but I can't afford group therapy and I hate therapists anyway. 

A lot of my good that I've seen in surrendering some control, is I'm less stressed and the kids seem a little less stressed. Not much, but a little. Mostly they're taking advantage of my relinquished rigidity and pushing major boundaries. At target today, the boy wanted a "snow cone" which is what they call icees. After repeatedly telling him no, I just started ignoring him. I reminded him one more time that the answer is no and I wasn't changing my mind. 

Commence the tantrum. 

Full blown screaming and stomping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. He even shoved me a few times. Even being in public I was on the verge of my own meltdown.

And I thought,"he's just a kid. He doesn't care about anything else except the icee. I can't change how he feels and I very obviously can't control him right now."

So I crossed the parking lot with him on my hip and snuggling into my shoulder while he sobbed about how unfair it is to be almost four and not have a "snow cone". All I could do was tell him that it will be ok and hug him with one arm while I steered the cart with the other. 

The bad of that situation far outweighs the good, but if I had gone to my old standard of trying to control it, there wouldn't have been any good to even try to see. Instead, I got some snuggles from my not so little man that are becoming more and more rare as he gets older. 

Oh and he did get a stern lecture when we got home and calmed down enough to listen.