You know the kind that are all,"we can guess your spirit animal in ten questions!"
This one was about your subconscious obsession. I figured mine would be loading the dishwasher the right way, or tuxedo chocolate mousse cake from costco. Instead it was something wholly unexpected.
I'm a friendly person and I can strike up a conversation with anyone, a trait my five year old daughter has, thankfully, inherited. I wouldn't call myself in a "constant state of happiness" though. I definitely don't always emit positive vibes either. I sent this screen shot to my husband with a note saying "I don't think this quiz knows me at all hahaha".
I waited for his agreeing remark because he's my husband and knows me well enough to see I had been a victim of the generalizing Facebook quiz. Again, a response wholly unexpected.
"It's there if you'd quit squelching it."
I stopped my snarky reply and thought,"do I? Do I squelch my happy?" I've been struggling with finding my new self since having kids and becoming a mom. I think back on my single days in my own apartment with fondness and pangs of jealousy for my carefree youth. I found myself bitter at the title of Stay At Home Mom like it labeled some sort of antisocial snack maker.
I've written countless journal entries asking where did Kate go? That bubbly, snarky, dancing, singing, skinny dipping at 2 am girl? I figured she was long gone and lost on some whirlwind adventure that I wasn't invited to share. My own adventure had begun and it was too mundane for her to stick around. Instead my travel partner became Kathy (a nickname my husband calls me when he really wants to just piss me off). Kathy is far too serious and gruff and prefers loafing about and complaining.
My husband was right. I squelched my happy. I shooed Kate away because motherhood is serious business and I needed a serious person to help me raise stalwart members of society who would shape the world within their tiny hands.
So this is my letter to Kate. Please come back. I need more dance parties and less pity parties.
This is kind of my space to post about the happy in my days. Whether it's tuxedo chocolate mousse cake from Costco (seriously. Go buy one right now.) or just something silly my kids said/did. Possibly an inspirational quote I found on Pinterest. No matter what it is, if it's something that helps me stop squelching, and free my happy, I'm down like a clown Charlie Brown.
No comments:
Post a Comment